Last midnight, I was struggling myself to sleep because of many things running in my head and all the ache running in my blood and in my whole being; so I told myself this:
“I’d pay any amount of money just to have all this pain go away.”
Then I remembered, I have no money.
So that my friend is how I fell asleep.
I just want you to know that I’ve been extremely sad, because of the thought that I could never win you back.
But along the way, I’ve come to realize that I shouldn’t be sad at all. Because finally, finally, I could win myself back.
I love you, still.. from a distance.
It was late night. I was lying on my bed. Knees curled up to my chest. Eyes tired from more than a month of crying. My whole body was trembling. Too afraid to call someone for help. Too exhausted to live for another day.
I was bad and unforgivable. If only I can turn back time. And undo what I did wrong. But I can’t. I just can’t.
I tried to regain a little strength. Whispered a wish no one can hear. Tomorrow when I wake up, let me forget who I am. And live like nothing has happened.
The next day, I didn’t forget who I was. But I remembered who I am. I remembered I am worthy. Not in the human eyes, maybe. I didn’t forget my mistakes. And my failures. And all the mess. I just remembered who I am. And I am not all of those. Not in the human eyes, of course.
It was late night. I was lying on my bed. Knees curled up to my chest. Eyes swollen from more than a month of crying. My body was not anymore trembling. Someone was there to help. But it was too late, I uttered.
I tried to regain a little strength. Whispered a message I hope the world could hear. Tomorrow when you wake up, remember who you are. And try your best to live.
It was late night. My body was lying on my bed.
Isn’t it sad to move on from a love you never had?
Isn’t it hard to let go of something that was never really yours?
Isn’t it lonesome to miss someone who was never with you?
Isn’t it depressing to end a story you never have started?
Was it really something you never had? Or was he never really yours? Was he never really with you? Maybe, just maybe, there is a story. A story of love – a love that never asked for anything in return. And now you have to turn a new page, a new chapter of a new book. A story of giving and of forgiveness, both for him and for yourself. A story of an old love in a new way – a love from a distance. And eventually, you will see that it isn’t sad at all; that it isn’t wrong, either.
Isn’t it great to fall in love?
Isn’t it greater to stay in love?
It may take a decade, but please know that I am waiting for you in silence.
I love you. Always.
You’re with her at this exact minute.
Probably cuddling in this cozy morning.
And I’m here alone, lying in my room.
Waiting for the night to come.
Waiting for OUR night to come.
“It’s our little secret, keep it.”
“Don’t make a sound”, I whispered.
“Let’s make it fast”, he said.
More than friends, definitely not lovers.